I get a kick out of the lists of why we love having boys or girls, so I thought I would share my story. Before I had my boys, I was convinced that I wanted girls! I grew up surrounded by boy cousins and a little brother, so boys were not a favorite of mine. I dreamed of tea parties, ballet classes, proms, and weddings. I’d had my share of wrestling, superheroes and mud—lots of mud. I know, my descriptions of “girl things” and “boy things” were stereotypical, but I was young and not quite as evolved as I am now! I think too, I just felt like I could relate to a daughter since I am one, even though I was never really a “girly girl” anyway. As Woody Allen said, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”
While trying to get pregnant over 4 years, I began to think that I did not care what sex my baby was. I just wanted one. I also wanted at least one boy to carry on my husband's name, since he is the last man in his generation. I still wanted a girl, but I was beginning to change my mind. Then, the year I got pregnant with my first child I was teaching fifteen very active 4 and 5-year-olds. The catch? Thirteen of them were boys! God was preparing me for my future as a boymom.
I gave birth to my first little man and we named him Robert. We lovingly call him Bobby, since both of his grandpops are Robert, and my brother's name is Robert. Yes, family gatherings are a blast with all the Bobs, Robbies, and Bobbys walking around. I did get naming a child after several members of the family done in one fell swoop!
We tried to get pregnant again and it took another 4 years. I definitely wanted a girl this time since I already had a boy. But God knew best and I gave birth to my angel, my miracle baby, Gabriel Xander. He was born 6 weeks early after I was put in the hospital because my water broke at 26 weeks. He struggled in NICU for a month after he was born, but you would have no clue looking at him now!
So as I started raising these boys, I realized that I was right on some level—I had no clue how to play superheroes, nor did I suddenly want to dig around in the mud looking for slimy bugs. But I discovered that sometimes I could learn by inviting someone who enjoyed those things to do them for me! I tell this story all the time and I hope it helps you to think about hiring boys as babysitters. When my boys were 7 and 3, I needed a mother's helper, so I asked a friend if her daughter was interested and wanted to make some extra money. She politely told me her daughter did not like babysitting, but her son wanted the job. My initial thought was, "A boy, babysitting?" Well, let me tell you, it was one the best decisions I ever made! The boy was amazing with my sons! He knew what they liked to do and how to play superheroes, and he jumped around with them to their heart’s content. He even dealt with augments between them and taught them how to be better brothers to each other. They looked up to him then and still do now even though he is in college. I learned so much about how boys communicate and perceive the world watching them interact with an older boy as a role model. As with anyone you ask to look after your children, consider boys who are trustworthy and have integrity.
I’ll just add that my brother had a little girl who was exactly 8 months younger than my Gabe. I got my girl fix, but I also started to realize that I liked being with my boys! I began to learn how to be a boymom and enjoy it. I believe moms of boys are a lucky bunch, and here are just a few of the reasons why:
1. The Mom+Son bond. Mothers have a special bond with their sons that never goes away. Daddy’s little girls may get all the hype, but boys love their moms something special. I am especially thankful for the love of my boys. I have even have had other moms comment on how loving they are. They are openly affectionate and caring in public. I consider myself one blest woman to have not one, but two of those amazing relationships in my life.
2. No Squealing. Now this one is kind of tongue in cheek, but little girls squeal. You know the sound I mean—it is high pitched and loud. Girls squeal sometimes just to hear themselves do it, lol! Thankfully, as a boymom my ears are spared. My boys can talk from sun up to sundown about anything (usually Minecraft and YouTubers), but I rarely, if ever hear them squeal! As an afterthought, I do love getting my squeal time in with my little niece. What? Isn’t that the fun of having higher pitched voices anyway? (wink)
3. My boys see the world differently than I do. Being that I am not a male, my brain does not work the same way theirs does. It’s just a fact. I once thought of that as a negative, but raising boys has changed my mind. I see the world in a whole new way through their eyes. They think in a way that can seem strange to me. Sometimes that is good. Sometimes I could do without it—like with the mud and slimy bugs thing. They solve problems differently and experience life differently than I do. Being with my boys has taught me to step back sometimes and consider their view before responding with my own.
4. I have a responsibility to teach them to be Godly, respectful men. This may be the most important reason I love being a boymom. I get to model for my boys what a loving mother and wife looks like. I am the first and most influential interaction with the female species they will have in their lives. I try daily to show them that good mothers put their children first in many respects, but that God should be first, always. I try to teach them how a wife should treat her husband with love and respect by treating their father that way. I am the one who gets to show my sons how to treat a woman well. It’s so cool that every time we go to a store my sons run to open the door for me. Gabe even yells, "Ladies first!” If I had daughters I wouldn’t get to hear that over and over again. I can support my husband in teaching them to be strong men, who work hard to provide for their families both financially and spiritually. Hopefully when the time is right—when they are like 40 or so, LOL, my sons will choose the right woman for them and treat her like the queen she should be. Eventually I trust they will have children of their own and set good examples of husbands and fathers to my grandchildren. Moms raising boys can change the world, one family at a time! WOW! What a responsibility!
I’ve shared just a few of the reasons I love being a boymom, but I could write a twenty part series to share them all! Of course there are a million reasons moms with daughters love being girlmoms, and like me, they would not change just being a mom for anything. Even when I struggle and get tired of the way my sons giggle when I say certain words, I am so truly blest by them. My boys teach me so much everyday, and they definitely keep me on my toes. I hope some of you will share reasons you love being a boymom in the comments below.